Die schlechteste Schallplatte der Welt (dazu noch ohne Rückseite!)

w-1008-f-frontw-1008-fphilips-blankStreit-Cartoon-1Streit-Cartoon-2Streit-Cartoon-3Streit-Cartoon-4“The worst record in the world (On top of that without a flip side!)”

Okay, that´s not true. If it was, you would probably have heard about it. It´s a pretty nice German novelty record with a cartoon sleeve. Perfect for Berlin Beatet Bestes. And, the flip and the back of the sleeve are indeed  blank.

The label, that says “Lachplatte” (Laughing Record) and the Art Nouveau-style of the lettering, suggest that the song is based on the idea of The original Okeh Laughing Record: a man and woman laughing uncontrollably about a musician playing out of tune. For whatever reason, this song has very little laughing, but a lot of out of tune playing.
I assume, that the Kleckerdorfer Symphonieorchester is  actually Rolf Schneebiegl´s brass band. Scheebiegel (1924-2004) was quite an interesting musician who played jazz after WWII with Freddie Brocksieper, Kurt Edelhagen and Hans Koller, before he started his own very successful brass band, the Original Schwarzwaldmusikanten. While it might not work as a re-make of the famous Laughing Record, fans of classical music might still find humor in this rendition of  Franz von Suppe´s “Dichter und Bauer”, as arranged by Rolf  Schneebiegl.

There´s some crafty voluntary out of tune playing to be heard…

DAS KLECKERSDORFER SYMPHONIEORCHESTER, Dichter und Bauer

The reason I bought this record, was the sleeve, designed by cartoonist Reinhard Streit. I found no information about him online at all.

However, I found four cartoons by Reinhard Streit in my collection, published in the small book “Ohne Worte” (Without Words) in 1956 by Verlag Kurt Desch. The company published a European, a French and a German cartoon anthology. This is from the German edition:

Reinhard-Streit-Patentamt

Patentamt (patent office)

Reinhard-Streit-Frieden

 

Reinhard-Streit-1-2

 

Reinhard-Streit-Strip

 

 


HERMANN SATTLER MIT SEINEM ORCHESTER, Blasmusik, 1965

wenn-du-lust-hast-frontBlasmusikWenn Du Lust hastEven more dirty schlager songs by the tiny Cady label. The illustration on the sleeve was drawn by the same anonymous artist that did the Helga Mohr sleeve.

HERMANN SATTLER MIT SEINEM ORCHESTER, Blasmusik, 1965

HERMANN SATTLER MIT SEINEM ORCHESTER, Wenn du Lust hast, komm zum Kegeln, 1965

kegeln


HELGA MOHR UND DIE HUCK & HUCKY´S, Wer will fleissige Handwerker sehn?, 1965

fleissige-handwerker-frontfleissige-handwerker-backfleissige-handwerkerEin kleines HündchenMore risqué schlager by the Cady label. I bought these 45s because of the cartoon sleeves, designed by an anonymous artist. Helga Mohr sounds a lot like Gisela Jonas. Besides, there´s not much to say about these records. Nobody seems to want them. Nobody collects them. Nobody ever thought that they should be reissued in the past 50 years. However, I bet some fools will soon offer them on Ebay for 20 Euros, just because I present them here. Naturally, nobody will buy them.

Here´s why…

HELGA MOHR UND DIE HUCK & HUCKY´S, Wer will fleissige Handwerker sehn?, 1965

HELGA MOHR UND DIE HUCK & HUCKY´S, Ein kleines Hündchen, 1965

handwerker


DIE 3 KÜCHENBUBEN, Die Köchin sprach zum Koch, 1965

Cady-1001-1002Die Köchin sprach zum KochDie Kaltmamsell vom ParkhotelJello Biafra called him:”The most quintessentially hideous recording artist… a kind of blonde-wig Aryan combination Mitch Miller-Tom Jones” (Incredibly Strange Music, Vol.II, 1994).

I remembered that I had this record somewhere, after I read that our “German Andy Warhol with sunglasses and white hair”, was also in this group. So yesterday, I went down to our basement and dug in some old boxes for an hour to finally find this record.

This 45 is even more risqué than the previous one by the Ok-Singers, if not downright dirty! You can clearly hear the famous baritone, singing a  song about a mouse in a kitchen and the female chef showing the male chef the hole it came from…

 

DIE 3 KÜCHENBUBEN, Die Köchin sprach zum Koch, 1965

DIE 3 KÜCHENBUBEN, Die Kaltmamsell vom Parkhotel, 1965

3 Küchenbuben


DIE OK-SINGERS, Die Susi mit dem Mini-Rock, 1965

ok-singers-frontok-singers-backPe-1-APe-1-BHe´s been in the business for 50 years and has sold millions of records. He´s also the most famous incredibly strange artist from Germany. Jello Biafra is a big fan. I´m not going to write his name in full, because – contrary to my usual policy – this artist is still very much alive and working. In fact, since he re-invented himself two years ago he´s been very successful, and now appears on German television every week. Since this blog deals with odd German records, it was inevitable that I finally came to the undisputed king of German musical weirdness. You know who I´m talking about….

So, this is the first record ( self-published by Dieter Wolf, the Ok-Singers´ guitarist) that our man was ever involved with. The group recorded two more 45s for Vogue and Electrola, but none of them have ever been reissued commercially. The two tracks are  risqué “Stimmungslieder” with a rock´n´roll twist. While his solo career was largely built “in contrast to the modern beat hysteria” (according to the liner notes from his first LP), this record, that features a cartoon girl in a mini-skirt, shows that he had an early brush with it.

Risqué songs, rock´n´roll, cartoon – now, that makes it pretty much…

A PERFECT RECORD!

DIE OK-SINGERS, Die Susi mit dem Mini-Rock, 1965

DIE OK-SINGERS, Lieschen, dein Blüschen, 1965

Susi-mit-dem-Minirockok-singersOkpepita-logo


DIE MESSINGKÄFER, Der Schweiz größte Falschspieler

EP-4270-frontEP-4270-backEP-4270-AEP-4270-BThis record presents the marching brass band “Die Messingkäfer” – The Brass Beetles, from Basel. A regular of the Basler Fasnacht, they were guests of the Carnival celebrations held in Mainz and many other German cities on the Rhine in the mid-1960s. The narrator of the record, speaking with a broad Swiss accent, calls Guggenmusik “the Pop-Art of Faßnacht”, a pretty good description of  the humour and “crazy disharmonic harmony” of this style of music.
Playing “right” is strongly frowned upon by “Guggemuusig” bands. Here are a bunch of hit songs played deliberately wrong by the Brass Beetles – The biggest swindlers of Switzerland! Die Messingkäfer – Der Schweiz größte Falschspieler!
Heidewitzka, Herr Kapitän
Schaps, das war sein letztes Wort
Schaffe, schaffe, Häusle baue
Jetzt trink´n ma noch a Flascherl Wein
Ich kauf´ mir lieber einen Tirolerhut
Das Humbda Tätärä
Wenn das so weitergeht
In München steht ein Hofbräuhaus
Geh´n wir mal rüber zum Schmied
Trompeten-Echo

AAMOK, Deutsches Weihnachts-Potpourri, 1973

LIN-S-1926-frontLIN-S-1926-1LIN-S-1926-2Aamok was basically producer Conny Plank´s own Novelty/Krautrock-project. Plank himself even did the drawing of  an evil Santa, complete with bloody knife, gun and what looks like a corpse hanging from his bag. But Aaamok was also a short-lived Krautrock label, operated by Conny Plank and Wilken F. Müller, that never really took off. This promotional Holiday record was one of the few items that were published, that actually carried the name Aamok.

The proto-punk Christmas song Deutsches Weihnachts-Potpourri (German Christmas medley) sounds like it could have been released by Mad magazine….

AAMOK, Deutsches Weihnachts-Potpourri, 1973

Wilken F. Müller created the silence…

AAMOK, Silence In The Night, 1973

 


THE WASHBOARD BIRTHDAY SPECIAL

washboard-special-frontJust noticed that the last post was my 700th post since I started this blog in 2007. To celebrate all these wasted years,  here´s another flexible Birthday 78rpm postcard record, published by the London based Melody Cards company. These postcard records offer perfect copyright-friendly blog material: anonymous artists, no copyright noted, 50 plus years old and of course never reissued.

Plus, underneath the crackles and pops, a pretty silly song.

No washboard though….

 

 

The Washboard Birthday Special

 

Happy, Happy Birthday!

Happy, Happy Birthday!

On this anniversary of the day that you were born.

 

Let´s git goin´ down the track,

Once I´se there ain´t comin´ back,

Git those presents on the rack

Of the WASHBOARD BIRTHDAY SPECIAL

washboard-special-happy-birthdaywashboard-special-best-wishes-fromwashboard-special-backNote the Joe Brown haircut of the teenage boy in the center!

washboard-special-boywashboard-special-girlwashboard-special-teenager-guitarwashboard-special-teenager-drumswashboard-special-guitar

 


Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 643 other followers