Die schlechteste Schallplatte der Welt (dazu noch ohne Rückseite!)

w-1008-f-frontw-1008-fphilips-blankStreit-Cartoon-1Streit-Cartoon-2Streit-Cartoon-3Streit-Cartoon-4“The worst record in the world (On top of that without a flip side!)”

Okay, that´s not true. If it was, you would probably have heard about it. It´s a pretty nice German novelty record with a cartoon sleeve. Perfect for Berlin Beatet Bestes. And, the flip and the back of the sleeve are indeed  blank.

The label, that says “Lachplatte” (Laughing Record) and the Art Nouveau-style of the lettering, suggest that the song is based on the idea of The original Okeh Laughing Record: a man and woman laughing uncontrollably about a musician playing out of tune. For whatever reason, this song has very little laughing, but a lot of out of tune playing.
I assume, that the Kleckerdorfer Symphonieorchester is  actually Rolf Schneebiegl´s brass band. Scheebiegel (1924-2004) was quite an interesting musician who played jazz after WWII with Freddie Brocksieper, Kurt Edelhagen and Hans Koller, before he started his own very successful brass band, the Original Schwarzwaldmusikanten. While it might not work as a re-make of the famous Laughing Record, fans of classical music might still find humor in this rendition of  Franz von Suppe´s “Dichter und Bauer”, as arranged by Rolf  Schneebiegl.

There´s some crafty voluntary out of tune playing to be heard…

DAS KLECKERSDORFER SYMPHONIEORCHESTER, Dichter und Bauer

The reason I bought this record, was the sleeve, designed by cartoonist Reinhard Streit. I found no information about him online at all.

However, I found four cartoons by Reinhard Streit in my collection, published in the small book “Ohne Worte” (Without Words) in 1956 by Verlag Kurt Desch. The company published a European, a French and a German cartoon anthology. This is from the German edition:

Reinhard-Streit-Patentamt

Patentamt (patent office)

Reinhard-Streit-Frieden

 

Reinhard-Streit-1-2

 

Reinhard-Streit-Strip

 

 


Die mißglückte Jugendzeit – Original Lach-Aufnahme, 1927

 

original-lach-aufnahmeoriginal-lach-aufnahme-3original-lach-aufnahme-2The original OKeh Laughing Record, first released in 1922, features a man and woman laughing uncontrollably in response to a musician playing out of tune.

Jacob Smith wrote about the Okeh Laughing Record extensively in his blog Vocal Tracks in 2008.

This is the Beka Laughing Record, the German version of the OKeh Laughing record. Or was it the other way round?

Whatever…

Die mißglückte Jugendzeit – Original Lach Aufnahme

The record was also featured  in the 1955 Walter Lantz cartoon Sh-h-h-h-h, the last short directed by Tex Avery.


HERMANN SATTLER MIT SEINEM ORCHESTER, Blasmusik, 1965

wenn-du-lust-hast-frontBlasmusikWenn Du Lust hastEnen more dirty schlager songs by the tiny Cady label. The illustration on the sleeve was drawn by the same anonymous artist that did the Helga Mohr sleeve.

HERMANN SATTLER MIT SEINEM ORCHESTER, Blasmusik, 1965

HERMANN SATTLER MIT SEINEM ORCHESTER, Wenn du Lust hast, komm zum Kegeln, 1965

kegeln

 

 

 


HELGA MOHR UND DIE HUCK & HUCKY´S, Wer will fleissige Handwerker sehn?, 1965

fleissige-handwerker-frontfleissige-handwerker-backfleissige-handwerkerEin kleines HündchenMore risqué schlager by the Cady label. I bought these 45s because of the cartoon sleeves, designed by an anonymous artist. Helga Mohr sounds a lot like Gisela Jonas. Besides, there´s not much to say about these records. Nobody seems to want them. Nobody collects them. Nobody ever thought that they should be reissued in the past 50 years. However, I bet some fools will soon offer them on Ebay for 20 Euros, just because I present them here. Naturally, nobody will buy them.

Here´s why…

HELGA MOHR UND DIE HUCK & HUCKY´S, Wer will fleissige Handwerker sehn?, 1965

HELGA MOHR UND DIE HUCK & HUCKY´S, Ein kleines Hündchen, 1965

handwerker


DIE 3 KÜCHENBUBEN, Die Köchin sprach zum Koch, 1965

Cady-1001-1002Die Köchin sprach zum KochDie Kaltmamsell vom ParkhotelJello Biafra called him:”The most quintessentially hideous recording artist… a kind of blonde-wig Aryan combination Mitch Miller-Tom Jones” (Incredibly Strange Music, Vol.II, 1994).

I remembered that I had this record somewhere, after I read that our “German Andy Warhol with sunglasses and white hair”, was also in this group. So yesterday, I went down to our basement and dug in some old boxes for an hour to finally find this record.

This 45 is even more risqué than the previous one by the Ok-Singers, if not downright dirty! You can clearly hear the famous baritone, singing a  song about a mouse in a kitchen and the female chef showing the male chef the hole it came from…

 

DIE 3 KÜCHENBUBEN, Die Köchin sprach zum Koch, 1965

DIE 3 KÜCHENBUBEN, Die Kaltmamsell vom Parkhotel, 1965

3 Küchenbuben


DIE OK-SINGERS, Die Susi mit dem Mini-Rock, 1965

ok-singers-frontok-singers-backPe-1-APe-1-BHe´s been in the business for 50 years and has sold millions of records. He´s also the most famous incredibly strange artist from Germany. Jello Biafra is a big fan. I´m not going to write his name in full, because – contrary to my usual policy – this artist is still very much alive and working. In fact, since he re-invented himself two years ago he´s been very successful, and now appears on German television every week. Since this blog deals with odd German records, it was inevitable that I finally came to the undisputed king of German musical weirdness. You know who I´m talking about….

So, this is the first record ( self-published by Dieter Wolf, the Ok-Singers´ guitarist) that our man was ever involved with. The group recorded two more 45s for Vogue and Electrola, but none of them have ever been reissued commercially. The two tracks are  risqué “Stimmungslieder” with a rock´n´roll twist. While his solo career was largely built “in contrast to the modern beat hysteria” (according to the liner notes from his first LP), this record, that features a cartoon girl in a mini-skirt, shows that he had an early brush with it.

Risqué songs, rock´n´roll, cartoon – now, that makes it pretty much…

A PERFECT RECORD!

DIE OK-SINGERS, Die Susi mit dem Mini-Rock, 1965

DIE OK-SINGERS, Lieschen, dein Blüschen, 1965

Susi-mit-dem-Minirockok-singersOkpepita-logo


FRANK VALDOR AND HIS ORCHESTRA, I´m The Greatest/ Ali Shuffle, 1966

45-11005-front45-11005-V45-11005-MOn September 10th, 1966 Karl Mildenberger´s most important fight against Muhammad Ali took place in the Frankfurt Waldstadion. The German heavyweight boxer lasted twelve rounds, until the referee took him out, because of a cut above his left eye.

This Muhammad Ali-themed Hippo Records 45 might have been released in reference to this epic fight. Valdor´s  Ali Shuffle though, is not connected to Alvin Cash´s soul track Doin´ The Ali Shuffle and I´m The Greatest is not the ska song of the same name, recorded by Ross McManus And The Joe Loss Blue Beats. Ross McManus, the father of Elvis Costello.

Co-written by Frank Valdor and Joe Menke, ex-husband of Nana Gualdi, these two humorous tunes are both in the snappy orchestra style Frank Valdor was known for, and have not been re-issued since 1966.

FRANK VALDOR AND HIS ORCHESTRA, Ali Shuffle, 1966

FRANK VALDOR AND HIS ORCHESTRA, I´m The Greatest, 1966

ali-shuffle

 


THE SHOT-GUNS, Shot-Gun, 1966

11007-front11007-back11007-B11007-A This 45, released by Hippo Records in 1966, is the soundtrack to the German B film “Schwarzer Markt der Liebe”. The tiny Hippo label was founded by Frank Valdor (1937-2013), once one of Germany´s busiest orchestra leaders, who ran the label into the 1980s.  The film features local Berlin nightclub owner/ playboy Rolf Eden in one of the main parts. Eden still occasionally appears on German television. This great action-packed B movie,  that came out on DVD last year, unfortunately does not.

The movie´s theme-song, Black Market,  is sung or simply moaned, in a style somewhere between Astrud Gilberto and Jane Birkin, by German singer and actress Nana Gualdi (1932-2007). Gualdi was married to German song-writer and producer Joe Menke for a short time. Joe Menke will be in my next Hippo Records post. Nana Gualdi also had a relationship with orchestra leader Benny de Weille.

Shotgun, by the anonymous “Shot-Guns”, is a beat version of the hit song by Jr. Walker and his Allstars.

Both songs have not been officially re-issued for almost 50 years and are not commercially available anywhere.

Enjoy!

THE SHOT-GUNS, Shot-Gun, 1966

FRANK VALDOR UND SEIN ORCHESTER, Black Market, 1966

 

11007-detailblondyblack-market-lobby-card


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