Die schlechteste Schallplatte der Welt (dazu noch ohne Rückseite!)

w-1008-f-frontw-1008-fphilips-blankStreit-Cartoon-1Streit-Cartoon-2Streit-Cartoon-3Streit-Cartoon-4“The worst record in the world (On top of that without a flip side!)”

Okay, that´s not true. If it was, you would probably have heard about it. It´s a pretty nice German novelty record with a cartoon sleeve. Perfect for Berlin Beatet Bestes. And, the flip and the back of the sleeve are indeed  blank.

The label, that says “Lachplatte” (Laughing Record) and the Art Nouveau-style of the lettering, suggest that the song is based on the idea of The original Okeh Laughing Record: a man and woman laughing uncontrollably about a musician playing out of tune. For whatever reason, this song has very little laughing, but a lot of out of tune playing.
I assume, that the Kleckerdorfer Symphonieorchester is  actually Rolf Schneebiegl´s brass band. Scheebiegel (1924-2004) was quite an interesting musician who played jazz after WWII with Freddie Brocksieper, Kurt Edelhagen and Hans Koller, before he started his own very successful brass band, the Original Schwarzwaldmusikanten. While it might not work as a re-make of the famous Laughing Record, fans of classical music might still find humor in this rendition of  Franz von Suppe´s “Dichter und Bauer”, as arranged by Rolf  Schneebiegl.

There´s some crafty voluntary out of tune playing to be heard…

DAS KLECKERSDORFER SYMPHONIEORCHESTER, Dichter und Bauer

The reason I bought this record, was the sleeve, designed by cartoonist Reinhard Streit. I found no information about him online at all.

However, I found four cartoons by Reinhard Streit in my collection, published in the small book “Ohne Worte” (Without Words) in 1956 by Verlag Kurt Desch. The company published a European, a French and a German cartoon anthology. This is from the German edition:

Reinhard-Streit-Patentamt

Patentamt (patent office)

Reinhard-Streit-Frieden

 

Reinhard-Streit-1-2

 

Reinhard-Streit-Strip

 

 


HERMANN SATTLER MIT SEINEM ORCHESTER, Blasmusik, 1965

wenn-du-lust-hast-frontBlasmusikWenn Du Lust hastEven more dirty schlager songs by the tiny Cady label. The illustration on the sleeve was drawn by the same anonymous artist that did the Helga Mohr sleeve.

HERMANN SATTLER MIT SEINEM ORCHESTER, Blasmusik, 1965

HERMANN SATTLER MIT SEINEM ORCHESTER, Wenn du Lust hast, komm zum Kegeln, 1965

kegeln


DIE 3 KÜCHENBUBEN, Die Köchin sprach zum Koch, 1965

Cady-1001-1002Die Köchin sprach zum KochDie Kaltmamsell vom ParkhotelJello Biafra called him:”The most quintessentially hideous recording artist… a kind of blonde-wig Aryan combination Mitch Miller-Tom Jones” (Incredibly Strange Music, Vol.II, 1994).

I remembered that I had this record somewhere, after I read that our “German Andy Warhol with sunglasses and white hair”, was also in this group. So yesterday, I went down to our basement and dug in some old boxes for an hour to finally find this record.

This 45 is even more risqué than the previous one by the Ok-Singers, if not downright dirty! You can clearly hear the famous baritone, singing a  song about a mouse in a kitchen and the female chef showing the male chef the hole it came from…

 

DIE 3 KÜCHENBUBEN, Die Köchin sprach zum Koch, 1965

DIE 3 KÜCHENBUBEN, Die Kaltmamsell vom Parkhotel, 1965

3 Küchenbuben


DIE OK-SINGERS, Die Susi mit dem Mini-Rock, 1965

ok-singers-frontok-singers-backPe-1-APe-1-BHe´s been in the business for 50 years and has sold millions of records. He´s also the most famous incredibly strange artist from Germany. Jello Biafra is a big fan. I´m not going to write his name in full, because – contrary to my usual policy – this artist is still very much alive and working. In fact, since he re-invented himself two years ago he´s been very successful, and now appears on German television every week. Since this blog deals with odd German records, it was inevitable that I finally came to the undisputed king of German musical weirdness. You know who I´m talking about….

So, this is the first record ( self-published by Dieter Wolf, the Ok-Singers´ guitarist) that our man was ever involved with. The group recorded two more 45s for Vogue and Electrola, but none of them have ever been reissued commercially. The two tracks are  risqué “Stimmungslieder” with a rock´n´roll twist. While his solo career was largely built “in contrast to the modern beat hysteria” (according to the liner notes from his first LP), this record, that features a cartoon girl in a mini-skirt, shows that he had an early brush with it.

Risqué songs, rock´n´roll, cartoon – now, that makes it pretty much…

A PERFECT RECORD!

DIE OK-SINGERS, Die Susi mit dem Mini-Rock, 1965

DIE OK-SINGERS, Lieschen, dein Blüschen, 1965

Susi-mit-dem-Minirockok-singersOkpepita-logo


FRANK VALDOR AND HIS ORCHESTRA, I´m The Greatest/ Ali Shuffle, 1966

45-11005-front45-11005-V45-11005-MOn September 10th, 1966 Karl Mildenberger´s most important fight against Muhammad Ali took place in the Frankfurt Waldstadion. The German heavyweight boxer lasted twelve rounds, until the referee took him out, because of a cut above his left eye.

This Muhammad Ali-themed Hippo Records 45 might have been released in reference to this epic fight. Valdor´s  Ali Shuffle though, is not connected to Alvin Cash´s soul track Doin´ The Ali Shuffle and I´m The Greatest is not the ska song of the same name, recorded by Ross McManus And The Joe Loss Blue Beats. Ross McManus, the father of Elvis Costello.

Co-written by Frank Valdor and Joe Menke, ex-husband of Nana Gualdi, these two humorous tunes are both in the snappy orchestra style Frank Valdor was known for, and have not been re-issued since 1966.

FRANK VALDOR AND HIS ORCHESTRA, Ali Shuffle, 1966

FRANK VALDOR AND HIS ORCHESTRA, I´m The Greatest, 1966

ali-shuffle

 


THE SHOT-GUNS, Shot-Gun, 1966

11007-front11007-back11007-B11007-A This 45, released by Hippo Records in 1966, is the soundtrack to the German B film “Schwarzer Markt der Liebe”. The tiny Hippo label was founded by Frank Valdor (1937-2013), once one of Germany´s busiest orchestra leaders, who ran the label into the 1980s.  The film features local Berlin nightclub owner/ playboy Rolf Eden in one of the main parts. Eden still occasionally appears on German television. This great action-packed B movie,  that came out on DVD last year, unfortunately does not.

The movie´s theme-song, Black Market,  is sung or simply moaned, in a style somewhere between Astrud Gilberto and Jane Birkin, by German singer and actress Nana Gualdi (1932-2007). Gualdi was married to German song-writer and producer Joe Menke for a short time. Joe Menke will be in my next Hippo Records post. Nana Gualdi also had a relationship with orchestra leader Benny de Weille.

Shotgun, by the anonymous “Shot-Guns”, is a beat version of the hit song by Jr. Walker and his Allstars.

Both songs have not been officially re-issued for almost 50 years and are not commercially available anywhere.

Enjoy!

THE SHOT-GUNS, Shot-Gun, 1966

FRANK VALDOR UND SEIN ORCHESTER, Black Market, 1966

 

11007-detailblondyblack-market-lobby-card


DIE MELODIAN-BOYS, Blue Beat-Medley, 1964

sta-EP-2281-frontsta-EP-2281-backsta-EP-2281-ATo wrap up the little German blue beat excursion, here´s a budget EP on the Starlet label from Munich, containing 12 hits played on the accordion.

“Medley” sounds bad, as does “accordion”, and it sure is bad: It sounds nothing like ska. Fittingly, the record is also seriously warped and I couldn´t fix the sound.

At least, you´re not likely to hear this unsteady-sounding ersatz-rocksteady anywhere else either…

Like, it´s art!

DIE MELODIAN-BOYS, Blue Beat-Medley, 1964

sta-EP-2281-detail


BOTHO LUCAS, Uns´ re kleine feine Familie, 1965

I already posted this German version of Shame & Scandal back in 2009. Botho Lucas (1923-2012) had a long career recording and performing with his Botho-Lucas-Chor. In contrast to what the girl and the juke box on the record sleeve suggests, Lucas himself was in his early 40s when he recorded this German ska song. Still, his version seems much fresher than Harry and Ronny´s. It´s a little faster and has got a heavier beat.

I think it´s better.

BOTHO LUCAS, Uns´re kleine feine Familie, 1965

botho-detail-2

 


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